film really sucks.
not kidding. If you're a fan of classic,
thought-provoking and well-done cinema, don't
watch Friday the 13th part 2. It's not even that
good a film if you like this sort of thing.
- if, like me, you're cataloguing and assessing
the horror movie sequel and their related
cliches, it's an absolute stonker. This film
adheres to so many conventions of horror movie
sequels it's hard to believe. It even goes with
most of the lesser known ones (E.g. a
wheelchair-bound character will be killed, but
they won't be the first).
however, Jason Voorhees (or Vorhese or however
you spell the foolish word) makes almost no sense
as a character at all. But then, maybe that's why
we like him so much. We're led to believe that
J.V. went swimming in a lake as a little boy and
disappeared, presumed drowned. He's been living
in the surrounding forest ever since. But by this
film he's somehow found himself a nice pair of
denim dungarees, walking shoes and a checked
jumper. I'm not sure if forests around lakes are
renowned for playing host to clothing shops.
at the beginning of the film he kills the woman
who killed his mum in the last film. In her own
home, no less! This guy's a complete mental and
physical retard! How'd he find out where she
lives or even who she is? And how'd he get there?
Can you picture some weirdo wearing dungarees, a
bag on his head and carrying a machete sitting
next to you on the bus? Imagine the cold dread
gripping your heart as he lumbered along the
aisle and you suddenly realised the one next to
you is the only vacant seat.
again, he is a retard. He'd probably sit on the
floor or on someone's lap. But again, imagine the
cold dread as he came towards you and you
suddenly realised that yours is the only vacant
I'm digressing. And yes, Jason's still wearing a
bag on his head at this stage. He gets the hockey
mask in Friday 3. So I'm told, anyway. He should
have kept the bag. It was rather fetching.
focus of the film is a band of hateful young
trainee camp counsellors occupying the camp next
to the one where J.V. met his supposed watery
end. They're all partying and carrying on. Jason
watches them cautiously from the bushes. He
doesn't seem keen on starting his body count for
the first half of the film. We do get a lot of
those 'someone gets a tap on the shoulder, turns
around with a start, but it's not the baddy'
moments. They're OK for adding tension, but after
the fourteenth or fifteenth you're practically in
tears waiting for the bloody film to get bloody.
here's another little rule that applies to quite
a lot of action films too - any car that has been
having trouble in the past, but has been
generally A-OK for most of the quiet moments,
will suddenly refuse to start at a crucial time.
Yep, that happens in Friday 2. And this car is a
soft-top, not designed with pitchfork-wielding
maniacs in mind.
quite a spectacular amount of cannon fodder to
get through at first, but then half of them
decide to have a night on the town, leaving the
appropriate bunch of victims behind to get preyed
on. Now, if they'd started killing people right
at the start J.V. would have had a chance to get
them all finished by the end of the film, but no.
Thanks to all that shoulder-tapping
tension-building faffing about they're taking
half of them out of the picture to speed the film
along. BOR-ING. I usually fast-forward through
most of the first half of the film, so I get half
of what I paid for (£3.99 from the second-hand
we're left with generic boy, generic girl,
generic girl #2, wheelchair-bound beefy boy,
cheeky jokester boy and moody girl. The classic
combination. Jason offs the lot of them. It's
kind of interesting to consider that generic boy
and generic girl are shagging each other
senseless while wheelchair boy gets a machete in
the face downstairs. It's also fun to watch the
expression on generic girl's face as Jason, that
renowned perv, walks in post-orgasm.
slit, stabbed, sliced, impaled and stabbed goes
the sequence of deaths. Then another generic boy
and girl come back early and have to do battle
with the bag-clad JV. What fun. There's a very
long drawn-out chase scene and generic girl is
the only survivor. We think. The last few scenes
are just too stupid for words, it's hard to work
the end of the film we get treated to a nice long
slow-mo sequence of JV leaping through a window,
minus the bag, and we discover his hideous
physical mutation. Er, did I miss something?
Didn't the guy DROWN? How does one receive that
degree of facial buggeration from DROWNING? What
is IN that LAKE? Did he hit the water really,
really hard or something? Or maybe he got savaged
by a rabid thrush in those early, confused days
of living in the forest. I imagine this gets a
proper explanation in later flicks. But even so,
WTF?! Freddy Kreuger is horribly burnt because he
BURNT TO DEATH, fellas. The most JV should have
is slight bloating.
last thing - this film has a dog, and the dog
meets a horrible end (we think). This is a horror
movie convention that becomes reversed in
disaster movies (i.e. the dog always survives).
Isn't that interesting? No? Suit yourself.
get the ratings.
in ears rating - 9/10
You'll jump more times than a kangaroo with
electrodes up his bum. I did indeed spend half
the film with my fingers in my ears.
to last film rating - 8/10
Load of camp counsellors get killed in gory ways.
What more do you want?
nekkid and DIE! rating - 10/10
This film wrote the book on the 'get nekkid and
DIE!' principle. Moody girl gets nekkid
COMPLETELY GRATUITOUSLY for a bit of rather
badly-timed skinny-dipping, off with her head.
And generic boy and girl get a spear through them
actually while nekkid and shagging. That's
exactly the kind of thing we like to see.
and guts rating - 8/10
Stab stab stab. Slice slice slice. Bleed bleed
heroes rating - 10/10
I hated the lot of 'em. Small wonder none of them
returned for later films. Jason's the only
constant character in the Friday series, and
rightly so. Who'd want to watch the exploits of
some moody losers for nine films when they could
watch those of a loony with a machete?
horror movie sequel rating - 9/10
The standard by which all horror movie sequels
should be judged.
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